


The warmth Within

by TheWurst



Category: Rick and Morty, South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stock Market, And I suck at it, Background Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Emotionally Unstable Dean Winchester, F/F, Help, I just started playing, I need therapy, Inflation, Its really sad to watch actually, Lincunt, Nipple Clamps, Phone destoyer, Robots, Sherlock Has Tentacles, Sneezing, So umm, The confedneracy, Time Travel, how to hack schoology, increased taxes on imports, protective tarrifs, tarrifs, unstable economic security kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:37:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12619140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWurst/pseuds/TheWurst
Summary: Cartman is the mastermind behind Alexa 2.0, a robot that can shoots portal lasers out of it's eyes. However, a deadly malfunction occurs...Will the power of love conquer all?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> *vomits*

“uhhh geez Rick i don't think we should be here-” Morty whispered in a weak, nervous voice.

“sh-shut up Morty I’m attempting to get this portal gun *burp* working again” Rick replied as he hit the portal gun repeatedly against a wall. A herd of alien creatures were catching up to them. They opened their alien mouths, revealing their freaky-ass tongues.

“uuuUuuHHhhH Rick…...” Morty began stuttering, but then the portal gun clicked in a weird technological sound thing that things make when they work. Suddenly a blue portal appeared before them in a victorious manner. Rick turned around and smirked. “ I guess you could say that- ”

 

**[The following joke has been removed because it violated AO3's terms of service]**

* * *

 

 

It was nighttime in the residency of South Park; the trees were obscuring into the depths of a nocturnal sky, the snow crusts pushed into scattered dents of muddy foot prints, and the quiet snores of the town dwellers were creaking by. One particular house stood awake, and a special little boy was building a lego death robot.

“I cant believe its almost done!” the boy said in his little cunty fat voice. He had read a wikipedia page on quantum physics, which had enlightened him with the instructions to build a lego robot that could kill people on order through advanced Alexa voice recognition.

He yawned and looked out the window, seeing that the sun has come out to greet him. The birds were chripin’ high and loud- it was another beautiful day to commit genocide. He moved his fat little body to an outlet and plugged in a cord that was connected to Alexa 2.0. Sparks busted out of the outlet, causing thr the lights in the room to flicker due to a temporary power outage.

“Here we go…”

 

To be continued….


	2. The pledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys Im learning how to tie a noose but Im having trouble with coiling it around the knot. Can someone give me a tip on how to make the rope less stiff and easier to tie?

The hallway was busy as usual, kids rushing in to get their books and materials out of their lockers. An assigned project was due that morning, and all the fourth graders were required to participate in making a science fair gadget to present to the classroom.

“Hey dude. Did you finish the science project?” Stan asked his friend Kyle in curiousity.

Kyle shook off his backpack and took out a small wooden box with two buttons on the exterior of the lid. “Yea, it’s a mechanical box that opens and closes when you press the red button.”

“What happens if you press the blue button?”

“Nothing. It just looks cool.”

Cartman let out a muffled snicker from behind them, looking over at Kyle’s project in his trademark, arrogant smile.  

“What are _you_ laughing about fatass?” Kyle lashed out, somewhat offended by his friend’s demeaning attitude.

“ _oh nothing_ ~ I was just gonna say… nice project..hehe... Kyle…” Cartman said brightly in his stupid fat fucking shit eating ear raping suicide-inducing voice.

Just then the school bell rang.

_It was time._

* * *

“Okay children i'm assuming y’all did your assignments for today's science presentation.” Mr. Garrison said as he finished taking attendance for his classroom. He looked around the classroom, seeing that everyone had a project to show- _all_ except for Cartman.

“Eric, I'm assuming you didn’t do your project assignment?”

“oh yes _of course_ Mr. Garrison.” Cartman outspokenly said, pulling a small remote control out of his backpack. He made his way to the front of the classroom, waving the control remote in the air. The little antenna protruding out of the controller beeped once, and Cartman proceeded to clear his voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen, from the beginning of time, science has existed for the sole purpose of contributing to the betterment of civilization. For example, the creation of the atomic bomb saved the United States from being obliterated by Hitler and his evil nazi minions during world war II. Without the bomb, one of our jewish classmate wouldn't be sitting with us today.”

“Cartman _what the actual fuck._ ” Kyle defensively said with a mix of anger and disgust.

 “It's okay Kyle, I know this is a sensitive topic for you. Now what I built was an invention so complex that it might just blow your minds. Say hello to... _Alexa 2.0_ ”

The whole class remained silent except for a clueless Butters who waved and exclaimed _“Hi Alexa!”_

Kyle and Stan were seemingly annoyed, already knowing the direction in which Cartman's speech was heading.

“Alex 2.0 is a portal of a sort. Using multi-dimensional quantum entanglement, she can communicate with other Alexa's existing across the infinite string of parallel universes in a domino effect. All I have to say is a single key phrase. Using that infinite energy, Alexa can generate a portal that will shoot out a deadly laser.”

“Bullshit.” Stan said, waiting for Mr.Garrison to do something about Cartman’s delusional ramblings.

“Oh I knew you would say that.” Cartman menancingly said as he pressed the button.

“Alexa, summon the **_Alexa Terminator_ **.”

“okay, summoning 4+ Fisher-Price lego magic assemble robot. Activating code 4243.”

The whole classroom went silent, and Mr. Garrison just stood up and sighed. “Okay Eric go back to your sea-”

Screams of panic were heard as something crashed into the window, breaking the glass in an instant. A robot assembled from a plethora of cheap lego pieces was summoned, turning its heads towards the children in a cold, mechanical way.

“Eric! What the hell is _that!?!”_  Mr.Garrison exclaimed in panicked voice, dropping his assignment clipboard on the floor.

“Why it's my project Mr. Garrison... it's a robot that responds on voice command.” He turned his fat body towards the robot, ready to unleash his ultimate power.  
  
” _Alexa. Suck my balls_.”


End file.
